I can't believe I actually did it. I gave birth to my first child less than 2 hours ago. It wasn't all that bad. I mean it wasn't good either but I thought it would be worse. Solo made it seem like she was gonna die. Her dramatic ass.
I looked down at Blue and she was sound asleep. She looked so peaceful and she was so beautiful. I don't know who she looks like more, me or Shawn. I rubbed her little hand and she held on tight to my finger. I smiled and a tear fell. Then I thought about that horrible night. The miscarriage. That was the worst night of my life. After that I fell into a deep depression. Shawn was worse than me. He cried every night, he didn't eat nor did he work. He wanted a child so bad and I felt it was my fault I miscarried. Hell, he even blamed me. But in reality, it wasn't my fault. It was life. I had uterine abnormalities. In other words, my uterus was oddly shaped and was weak. Which meant, once I started to show, my cervix couldn't hold the baby any longer. Shawn and I thought we would never be able to have children after that. I still somehow thought it was my fault. My thoughts ended when I heard my name.
"Bey!..... Beyoncé!" He called.
"Oh, huh?"
"You okay?" He asked while running his fingers through my hair.
"Yeah, I'm fine"
"okay well moms and Annie just got here, you want me to bring em in?"
Momma Gloria and Annie were on their way here for the wedding when I went Into labor.
"Of course!" I told him with a smile.
About five minutes later, momma Gloria came speed-walking In. I couldn't help but chuckle.
"Aww baby!" She cried as she hugged me.
"Hey ma. She's asleep" I said smiling, moving a little of the blanket out of her face. Annie then walked up and held me so tight I could hardly breathe!
"Annie! Girl okay!" I said laughing.
"Sorry, but she is gorgeous. Thank you Bee!"
"For what?"
"For putting up with Bighead over here long enough to give me my beautiful niece" she said as she nudge his head. It was kinda big.
"Aye, you better watch it girl!" He demanded.
"Well it was my pleasure" I giggled.
We all sat and talked until visiting hours were over. Only about 2 hours I mind you. Everybody went their ways. I told momma Gloria and Annie to stay at the apartment. Jay stayed with me. He made me feel like I was hogging my Pooder the way he kept asking to hold her.
I laughed and passed her to him while we talked.
"How you feel? "
"Extremely tried On the outside"
"The inside?"
I was tearing Up. "I'm... I'm so happy, I'm overjoyed. I can't explain it."
He walked up and wiped my tears.
"Me too baby" He kissed me and Blue's foreheads.
"Although," I wiped my tears "I wish we could've still gotten a chance to get married tomorrow."
He was playing with Blue's little fingers when He looked down at me.
"We still can"
"Huh? How ? I'm in a hospital bed"
"it doesn't matter. I can call the pastor and have him do the ceremony here."
I thought for a second.
"Well it was gonna be a small wedding anyways."
"C'mon baby, I don't wanna wait any longer. I'm ready to be an actual family. I want you to be my wife."
I couldn't help but smile.
"Okay, let's Do it."
He smiled extra hard, jumped up and kinda screamed "yes" with my child in his arms. My eyes got uber big.
"Jay! Shhh!" It was too late. Blue started to scream. It wasn't that loud, actually it was quiet, she sounded like a recording. It was so cute.
"Damn, I'm sorry!"
"It's okay, give her here." He put her in my arms and I rocked her. She simmered down a little when I held her hand. She was so beautiful. She fell asleep in my arms. Jay put her in the crib the hospital provided and we fell asleep.
********************
The next morning, I woke up to the sight of Jay sitting in the corner talking to Blue... I automatically knew what he was doing: Daddy Daughter Time. I thought that was just too cute. I just looked at them and smiled. I heard him say something like "Don't eat anything mommy cooks -- EVER"
"Hey! I heard that!" He got up and walked over to me. He kissed my lips and then my forehead.
"Hey Ma, when did you get up?"
"A few minutes ago when I heard you coming for my cooking skills"
"Skills?" I looked at him. "Aw babe, I'm kidding. You can throw down in the kitchen - If it's Hamburger Helper." He laughed hard and I gave him the deadliest stare known to man. He stopped laughing quick.
"Anyways, when did she get up?" He passed her to me.
"She hasn't been up that long. Ten, fifteen minutes maybe."
"Oh okay," I looked down at her. "Hey baby. Hi." I played with her little fingers, then i rubbed her head. OOOH CHILE.. My baby has a head full of hair, and It is laid to THE GODS!
"OH, Babe?"
"Yeah?"
"Pastor Evans said he could make it here by three"
"what time is it now?" He looked at his watch.
"Ten to eleven"
I rocked Blue. "Did you tell the family everything?" I Bet he did.
"Yep, they all said it would be nice. Ty, Angie, Gwen, and Kanye are on their way over now" Told you.
"Okay, I cant wait" I smiled. Before I could say anything else, Blue burst Into tears.
"Awe baby, what's the matter?" I cradled her in my arms and rocked her.
"Are you hungry? Huh?"
"Bey, she can't talk."
I side eyed him then whipped out my boob. WHOA! When did it get this big?!? O_o I tried to get Blue to latch on but for some reason she was having trouble.
"C'mon baby, you can do it."
"What's wrong?" Shawn walked up to see what's wrong.
"She won't latch on." I kept trying. She had her mouth open searching for my nipple so clear she was hungry. Finally, she latched on.
"Wheww, there you go" I squeezed my eyes shut. Damn!! This shit hurts!
"Babe, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, This just really hurts."
He rubbed my back. "Aw baby, you'll get used to it."
******************** 12㏘
"Bey what are you doing? Texting?" Gwen walked up and asked me.
"No, I'm on Facebook."
"Facebook?"
"Yeah, I'm not as me though, they don't know they're talking to me." Does that make sense?
She laughed "what? How?"
"Come here, look!" I showed her my page on my Blackberry™. My name was Giselle Beyfam Jackson. Slick right? They'll never know it's me.
"Giselle Jackson? You came up with that all by yourself?" She laughed.
I didn't,
"Yes, Yes I did! You have something better?"
She stopped talking and went to sit down.
"That's what I thought." I laughed.
TBC,.....................
This Was OD Boring But Okay :)
Ooooh shit! Hospital wedding! And #dead at Bey asking when did her boob get that big lol , great post. Update soon
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