Forgiveness?

I was so confused. First off, why was he here? How did he get here? How did he even know I was here? Somehow all of that blacked out of my mind and I said four simple words...
"Get the fuck out!"

"Beyunsay, watch your mouth!"

"No! Why Is he here? Why are you here??"
I looked at momma and she looked down. By then, Gwen had Blue and had walked outside the room.

"I called him"

"You WHAT?" Solange jumped up seemingly more upset than I was.

"What? Wait,you called him? After he broke your heart? Ma, are you okay?"

"I'm perfectly fine. I've learned to forgive. Not for Mathew but for myself"

"But why is he HERE??"

"I invited him. I feel that if I can forgive him, so should you"

She actually had a point. I kinda saw this coming. But not here. Not like this. He had never done anything like this before. I didn't know what to say. For the first time ever, I had nothing to say. I looked at momma. She had tears in her eyes. I saw that she really wanted us to give him a chance. I then looked at Mathew. He was almost in tears. I did kinda miss him, after all he is still my daddy. We've been through entirely too much for me not miss him.

"Wait, Bey, before you speak, I just wanna say I'm sorry for everything. Sorry for hurting your mom like I did and sorry for breaking the promise I made to you and your sister."

I looked at Solo and she looked like she was about to blow something up. Luckily, Ye, Ty, Angie and Annie were calming her down.
"Look, I never meant to hurt you, your sister, or your mother, but I did and I regret it all. I was going through something and your mother knows now but that's not an excuse. I broke a really big promise to y'all and I can see I cut y'all deep. I promise to make it up to you. All three of you!"

By then I was in full blown tears. He walked up to me and looked me in my eyes. I could see that his words were sincere. I looked down at moma; she was crying. I looked at Solange and she looked at me. She had tears in her eyes but she was trying not to show it. That child can Never show her real emotion. Daddy grabbed my hands.

"I'm not asking for you to forgive me right away, I know it will take some time but at least give me a chance. I love you all way too much and I don't wanna lose Y'all. You're all I have, just let me Be here for the wedding and for my grandchildren. Maybe you guys will come around later. Please."

Oh My Gosh, He really means this. I couldn't hold back my tears anymore, they just began flowing. I couldn't just block him out of me and Blue's life... He's still my dad and he's still Blue's grandfather. I wiped my tears and hugged him extremely tight. Then momma came up and hugged us. Solange was crying hard in the corner of the room. She didn't wanna move.

"Solange? Baby girl? Are you gonna give me a chance?" He said walking up to her. She was crying her eyes out.

"Why should I?! Why?! You Promised me that you would NEVER hurt moma or us. You promised to love moma forever." She paused for a moment and wiped her eyes. "How could you?! After everything you and moma been through, How? Was She not good enough? Huh? Is she not attractive to you anymore? Were you just tired of her? Huh? Answer Me!"

"Baby, thats not the case at all. I love your mother with all my heart. I just... I just wasn't in my right state of mind. I regret everything. I just don't wanna lose any more than I've Already lost. Y'all are the only family I have right now, just please, give me a chance?"

Solo got up from the chair and hugged him. She said nothing. He knew she was giving him a chance.

"This Is sweet and cute and beautiful and all, but Uh, We kinda had something going soooo, Can we kinda speed this up?" Jay is so rude. I Giggled at him.

"Aw man, sorry to interrupt. Anything I can do?"

"Sit next to mama and don't interrupt again" I laughed. "Oh, somebody go get Gwen and ladybug!"

"Gotcha sis" Annie ran to go get Gwen. "OMG, Gwen!!!"




Tbc...
Sorry If This Is Boring. The Next One Gets So Much Better.
Thanks You Guys For Reading.

What's Going On?

A few hours later, I was trying to get ready for this wedding. It felt nothing like a wedding though. I could hardly walk, I had a huge gut, my hair -- Ok my hair wasn't that bad. As a matter of fact, It looked like I just got it done.. hmm.... Anyways, apart from that, I looked a mess. Blue won't stop crying and eating. She is always hungry. A day old eating like a grown man, taking after Shawn's ass already.

"Baby!!"

"Nigga, WHY are you yelling?"

"Damn, my bad. Why you not dressed?"

"Do you not see me feeding?"

He gave me this 'WTF is your problem' look.

"Look I'm tired, pastor Evans isn't even here yet so relax!"

"You could still try. C'mon Bey, this is a big day for us"

"Jay, I just told you I'm tired. I'll be ready. You didn't just push a 7lb baby out of your dick now did you?"

Okay, that was a bit much, Why did I say that?

"Chh.. You know what? Bye Beyoncé , Call Me when youre done being a bitch."

He left and slammed the door behind him. When he did, Ladybug jumped and started crying. Tears filled my eyes as a rocked her. Why did I say that? Ugh my emotions are all over the place. Wait a minute...

WHOA!!!

Did he just call me a bitch? Chh... I deserved It. I was being a bitch. I rocked ladybug a little more until she fell asleep. When she did, I got up and tried to get dressed.  FUCK, My vagina HURTS!!!! Damn ladybug. I need help but everyone left to eat. I'ma call mom.

"Oww ma"

"yeah baby, you ok?"

"No I need your help. It hurts getting dressed. You still downstairs?"

"yeah, I'm on my way up"

"okay, thanks"

ten minutes later, she came and helped me. It wasn't the dress I was gonna wear but It was beautiful nonetheless. It was haltered and fitted.

HOE MY GAWD!!!

My boobs are Fucking huge! I looked down and bounced them around. My, My, My.... What's in here??? Cause it's not only milk the way ladybug eats. Geez, Ok, anyways once I got dressed, everyone was back. All except for Shawn.

"Hey, Annie?"

"Wassup sis?"

"You seen Jay?" She thought for a minute.

"Earlier, like an hour ago. Why?"

"he's not here. What was He doing?"

"on the phone, I don't know with who though"

"okay, thanks"

WHAT ZEE FUCK?? He was rushing me to get ready and his ass isn't here? Where the fuck is he? I asked around but no one saw him. I couldn't get up to go find him cause I'm in pain but damn, NO ONE SAW THEM LIPS???

Momma Gloria called him and he said he went to go pick up something. Good, cause I was about to snap.

An hour later, everyone was ready for this ratchet ass hospital wedding. Shawn walked in with an all black suit on, looking scrumpdittlyumptious!! Damn my baby can work Tf out of a suit. He walked up and kissed me. I totally ignored the fact that he was gone for almost 2 hours.

"You ready?"

"as I'll ever be" I smiled and passed ladybug to my Mom. Everyone was lined up like this was real wedding. It is kinda cute but still heavily ghetto. I was in bed the whole time, hell, my feet hurt. When the pastor started speaking, that's when it hit me. We're really doing this. My eyes started to burn and water.

"Dearly beloved, We are gathered here in the presence of these witnesses and God, to join together this man and this woman, in holy matrimony"

OMG I'm crying already!

"If there is anyone here that can show just cause why they may not lawfully be joined together, let them speak now, or else hereafter hold his peace"

"STOP!!"

My eyes got huge and ladybug cried. What is going on?!?!

TBC

Thanks for ready everyone sorry about any mistakes but leave a comment

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Thank You!

Blue Ivy && A Wedding

  I can't believe I actually did it. I gave birth to my first child less than 2 hours ago. It wasn't all that bad. I mean it wasn't good either but I thought it would be worse. Solo made it seem like she was gonna die. Her dramatic ass.
         I looked down at Blue and she was sound asleep. She looked so peaceful and she was so beautiful. I don't know who she looks like more, me or Shawn. I rubbed her little hand and she held on tight to my finger. I smiled and a tear fell. Then I thought about that horrible night. The miscarriage. That was the worst night of my life. After that I fell into a deep depression. Shawn was worse than me. He cried every night, he didn't eat nor did he work. He wanted a child so bad and I felt it was my fault I miscarried. Hell, he even blamed me. But in reality, it wasn't my fault. It was life. I had uterine abnormalities. In other words, my uterus was oddly shaped and was weak. Which meant, once I started to show, my cervix couldn't hold the baby any longer. Shawn and I thought we would never be able to have children after that. I still somehow thought it was my fault. My thoughts ended when I heard my name.
       "Bey!..... Beyoncé!" He called.
   "Oh, huh?"
       "You okay?" He asked while running his fingers through my hair.
    "Yeah, I'm fine"
"okay well moms and Annie just got here, you want me to bring em in?"
Momma Gloria and Annie were on their way here for the wedding when I went Into labor.
               "Of course!" I told him with a smile.
About five minutes later, momma Gloria came speed-walking In. I couldn't help but chuckle.
"Aww baby!" She cried as she hugged me.
                "Hey ma. She's asleep" I said smiling, moving a little of the blanket out of her face. Annie then walked up and held me so tight I could hardly breathe!
        "Annie! Girl okay!" I said laughing.
         "Sorry, but she is gorgeous. Thank you Bee!"
         "For what?"
"For putting up with Bighead over here long enough to give me my beautiful niece" she said as she nudge his head. It was kinda big.
             "Aye, you better watch it girl!" He demanded.
     "Well it was my pleasure" I giggled.
          We all sat and talked until visiting hours were over. Only about 2 hours I mind you. Everybody went their ways. I told momma Gloria and Annie to stay at the apartment. Jay stayed with me. He made me feel like I was hogging my Pooder the way he kept asking to hold her.