Monday, June 11, 2012

Saying Goodbye

Well It Seems As Though My Blogging Has Come To An End. I Wanted To Give You Guys At Least One More Post But I'm Just Not Into It Anymore. I Wanna Thank My Loyal Readers For Continuing To Read During My Rough Patches And Always Supporting Me. I'm Stopping Due To Lack Of Feedback, And Lack Of Interest. But I Do Suggest You Read Tati And Anitra's Blog. Kyesha And Kelsey's Blog. Also Jessica's Blog. They Have Wonderful Blogs. But That's It For Me. Adios Blogging World! It Was A Good Run. 

Monday, June 4, 2012

Friday, May 4, 2012

Back to Normal

We waited for about thirty minutes for the doctor to come out. I couldn't stop crying, I just wanted my baby to be okay. If anything happened to her, I don't know what I would do. We prayed a few times and then the doctor came out.

"Mr. And Mrs. Carter?" We jumped up and walked to him.

"Doctor! Is Blue Okay?"

"She's fine. Have a seat, Mr. And Mrs. Carter." We sat down at the table.

"Ma'am, Blue has what we call Bronchitis.."

"Isn't that like asthma?" Shawn asked.

"Not quite. Normally, it's simply a cold that can range at different levels of severity: mild to severe breathlessness. In infants as Blue, its caused by viral infections. Infants suffering with bacterial pneumonia also display such symptoms. If not treated properly immediately bronchitis can also be fatal in infants and young children."

(Tuh! I'm Schooling Y'all Lmao)

I covered my mouth when he said fatal.

"But don't worry Mrs. Carter. We've taken good care of her. She's perfectly fine now."

"Is there anything we can do at home to make sure this doesn't happen again?"

"Yes actually, I'm gonna prescribe her a medicine that will make breathing easier for her. That BTW is the reason why she was sweating. It was a struggle for her to breathe. But this medicine should help. Also, you have to give it to her on a breathing machine. She may not like it at first but it'll be worth it."

I didn't know what to say. This was all so much to take in. The doctor was writing the prescription on his notepad and I just watched him.

"Thank you so much Doc."

"No prob. I'll call your prescription in so it'll Be ready in the morning."

"Alright man, thanks." The doctor walked away.

I sat there, teary eyed, staring into space. My baby, three months old, is in the hospital. I know it's not anyone's fault but for some reason, I feel like I'm to blame. I started to cry.

"B, baby, stop crying. He said babygirl would be just fine."

"I know but this is all just too much."

"I know, baby we'll get through it. Don't worry. C'mon, lets Go see her."

He helped me up out of the chair, wrapped his arm around me and held me as we walked to Blue's room. I heard her crying, and trust, I know my baby's cry. We walked in and the nurse was trying to stop her from crying. I walked up and the nurse passed her to me.

"It's okay baby, mommy's here. Shhhh" I rocked her and she settled down. "Shhh, that's momma's good girl."

She stopped crying and I kinda listened to how she was breathing. It had kind of a whistle to it. That was one of the symptoms of bronchitis. She was also wheezing a little. That broke my heart. My baby, my heart, was sick and there wasn't too much I can do about it. Shawn came and wiped the few tears I had let fall. He hugged me then kissed me and Blue. We waited for the nurse to come back with the discharge papers and we went home.

The next day was Ok. Me and Shawn spent the entire day with Blue. We didn't let her out our sight for a moment. She slept with us, ate with us, everything. Kelly, Ty, Angie and Chelle stopped by to check on us.

"Girl, what have you been feeding my baby? She's getting so big" Kelly said while bouncing Blue on her knee.

"I know, I don't know why she's getting so big, so fast. Taking after her daddy." I giggled.

"Better me than you!" Shawn butted in.

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Cmon B, you know you were a weird child." He laughed.

"Oh, don't get me started on you ten pounds. Half of that ten pounds was your big ass head" I laughed.

"Hey, language around my lil diva." Ty covered Blue's ears. Angie came in from the kitchen.

"Hey B, Come here for a sec."
"Your lucky, bighead. I'm not done with you." I laughed and got up from the floor.

"Mhmm I'll be here when you get back" He laughed and I walked in the kitchen.

"Wassup?"

"I have a question"

"Yeah?"

"You talked to Michael lately?"

"Michael?" I said walking to the fridge to grab a bottle of water.

"Yeah, Ealy."

"Nah, not recently, why?"

"He emailed. Apparently, he wants you to come to his new movie premiere."

"As like a date?"

"I don't know but he left his new number. You should call him."

I was kinda shocked. Me and Michael were good friends a while back. Before me and Shawn got as serious as we did, then we just kinda stopped talking. Shawn didn't want me talking to him anyways. He thought Michael wanted me which I doubt. We were just really cool friends. I do kinda miss him.

"Okay, I'll call him later." I said as we walked back in the front room.

"B! Your child is a mess and a half." Chelle said laughing.

"What? What Did She Do?!"
"She's lying here, pretending like She's asleep."

"Peeking through one eye?" I asked curiously.

"Yes!!" Ty said. "I walked up and she hurried and closed her eyes."

"Aww She does that. I don't know where she got that from." I said giggling.

"She is hilarious. And what's with her stealing my food? Knocked my ice cream right out my hand!"

"She gets that from her mom." Shawn eyed me.

"Hey, y'all better leave my baby alone." I laughed. "Maybe you had too much, TY!"

"OH, But bitch hold on!" Blue started to cry.

"You made her cry. Aww baby, Uncle TyTy did it?" I Picked her up and held her in Ty's face. "Tell him leave you alone!"

She reached out and grabbed his lips. She pulled and I cracked up. Ty got to yelling. I know that hurt, Blue is strong and she got some nails on her. Lol I pulled her back and she let go.
"Now say sorry Ty!"

"Dang, Sorry lil Sasha! Mean self!" He said holding his lip. Blue was cracking up. My baby don't play!

A few hours passed, And everyone left. I kept thinking about calling Michael but I don't know what to say. We haven't spoken to each other in years but I figured I'd give it a shot. I called him while I was taking my bubble bath.

"Bee, I miss you. We have to hang out sometimes."

"I know. I miss you too. And you have to come and see Blue. She's getting so big."

"How about this weekend? I can take you and Blue out for some pizza or something." Pizza though?

"That's so corny." I laughed, "But I would like that. We've got catching up to do."

"Ok so, Saturday around 5 is good? I'll pick you up"

"Yes, that's great. See you then."

As we hung up, I felt some type of way. Do I have long lost feelings for him? Lord, I hope not. I just lied back in the tub relaxing, not thinking about anything anymore. When I got out, I put on one of Jay's old Jerseys and went to go lay down with him. He had already put Blue down for bed so we cuddled up under each other.

"B?"
"Yes?"
"I love you"
"i love you more baby"

I turned over and pecked him on the lips a few times. That soon led to a very passionate kiss. He climbed on top of me and caressed my thighs. He reached into my panties and rubbed my clit. I had no choice but to moan in his mouth. I pulled off his T-shirt and wrapped my arms around his neck. In the midst of our kisses, he managed to get my panties and my shirt off. I was just in my bra. He stopped kissing me and just stared into my eyes. And there it was. That connection I haven't felt in months. I missed his touch so much.

"Baby, make love to me."

"I intend to" He smirked and kissed me.

I kicked down his boxers with my feet so there was nothing ruining this feeling. He rubbed his dick up and down my pussy lips and I was already going crazy. He started to push himself in but I was too tight. After all, we hadn't had sex in months. He moved down and lapped away at my pussy. He was reaching spots I didn't even know I had. He fucked me so good with his tongue I couldn't help myself. I screamed and moaned his name so damn loud. He reached up to caress my breasts. I gripped the sheets between my fingers and arched my back to a maximum.

"Oh my.. mhmmm baby, baby I'm.. mmm I'm cumming!"

I came and he continued to eat. My legs were getting weak and I could hardly hold them up. I put my hand on his head and tried to close my legs. I guess he figured I had enough and he kissed back up to my face. He tried to push himself into me again. When he got the head in, I gasped so hard. It was like I was a virgin again. It's been so long but it felt so amazing. A tear fell from my eye and he kissed it away as he pushed himself further into me. I closed my eyes tight as he slowly pumped in and out of me. I started to loosen up and meet his thrusts. He started to go faster and I swear I felt him in my gut.

"Ohh baby, right there. Ahhh shit baby!" I moaned rubbing his chest.

He pumped faster and I was reaching my peak. I started to scratch his back and he knew what that meant. He pinned my arms above my head and fucked me like his life depended on it. I could only manage to scream his name. Nothing else would come out.

"Cum for daddy baby." He sucked on my neck. "Cum on daddy's dick"

The more he talked dirty the more aroused I became. My eyes rolled to the back ofy head. I came so hard and the way he was grunting, so did he. We made love for hours on in. It went from passionate, to rough. He fucked me on the floor, the wall, the dresser, the sink in our bathroom, and in the chair in our room. We did it missionary, doggy, in the sponging position. Hell , every position you could think of. We stopped around 4am. I was riding him.

"Ahh shit B, just like that." He smacked my ass.

"Mmm Shit, cum for momma. Mmm yes baby. I want you to cum on me. I wanna feel it. Mmm" I said while furiously rubbing my clit.

He sat up and pumped his life away. Then he flipped me over on my back and came on my stomach and chest. He fell on the wet bed next to me. Then he passed me the towel on the nightstand. I wiped my self off and managed to pull myself to lay on his chest.

"Baby --"
"Shh, I know." He kissed me. "I love you"

"I love you too."

And with that, nothing else was said. We just dozed off and waited for babygirl to wake up.



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Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Dinner Date And A Disaster

The next couple of days has just been Blue, Shawn and myself. No phones, no internet, just us spending quality time together. This is how I like it. Drama free!! I'm learning so much more about my family. I've even learned to cook. Like seriously, I can cook a three course meal now. I'm so proud of myself. Last night, so made baked chicken, mashed potatoes and biscuits. Shawn said it was delicious, and He didn't lie. He looked me in my face this time. I'm happy!! :-D

Anyways Blue is three months today and she's getting so big. Her hair is getting so long. Her legs are getting even longer. The other day I was tickling her and she kicked the shit out of my chest. It hurt like hell. And she's so chubby. This girl tries to eat table food and everything.

"No Blue, you can't eat this." She kept reaching for my chicken. "Blue, no"

No matter how many times I said no, she just kept reaching. So I tried something. I took a bite out of my chicken and kissed her on the lips. She made a funny face then giggled. I laughed.

"Your first taste of chicken, how was it?" She was sucking on her fingers. "I'll take that as a 'good mommy'" I giggled.

Shawn walked inside and grabbed me by the waist. By then, Blue was in her swing.

"Hello my beautiful wife." He kissed me on the neck.

"Hello my handsome husband" I giggled.

"Whatchu doing? I know you ain't make chicken without making me some!"
He was still holding on to my waist.

"No babe, yours is on the plate in the fridge."

"Good, I ain't wanna have to beat you up" that made me laugh.

"Shawn, you ain't gonna beat nothing up. Oh, how's your chest feeling?"

"It's much better. Maybe now we can have our honeymoon." He kissed my neck.

Because of what happened, me and Shawn have not had our honeymoon. Hell we hadn't even had sex. I know it's past the mark for us too but I don't want anything to happen. Which is why I'm waiting until he's completely healed.

"I would like that." I turned around and kissed him.

"Good, call Ma to watch Babygirl. I'm taking you out." My heart skipped a beat. We haven't been out on a date in ages.

"Ok, And out where?"

"Wait and see" He started to walk away.

"Baby, you know I hate surprises" I shouted.

By then he was gone and he took Ladybug with him. I kept thinking about what he had up his sleeve. I hate surprises but his never failed me so I guess I'll have to wait.

"Hello"
"Hey Ma!" I said happily. I haven't talked to my mom in like a week and a half.

"Hey baby. How you doing?"

"I'm great, What about you?"

"I'm good. How's my Son-in-Law and grandbaby?"

"They're fine. That's kinda what I called about."

"Something Wrong?"

"No, No, No. Me And Shawn wanted to go out tonight. You know with everything going on, me and him haven't hardly spent anytime alone. So could you keep Blue tonight? Just for a little while --" She cut me off.

"Chilee, If you don't stop talking to me like I'm new to this. That is my grandbaby, just drop her off. And I'll keep her for the night. I don't want her hearing you. You know you're loud." That was so embarrassing.

"Maaaaaaaaa!!!!"

"Chile, don't "Ma" me. Like I never heard you. Just call before you bring her."

"Ugh, okay Ma, love you"
"Love you too baby"

As I hung up, Shawn walked in holding Blue like she was a basketball.

"Baby? Why babygirl smell like chicken grease?" I laughed so hard.

"What?"

"She was trying to get my chicken so I bit it and kissed her." He laughed.
"Really B?"

I Laughed. "What?"

"You not about to have my baby hooked on chicken."

"Ok, Well she practically asked for it." I laughed and he put her on my lap. I lifted her up over my face.

"You liked it didn't you? Didn't you baby?"

She was giggling and she drooled all over my face.

"That's what you get!"

"Ew Blue" I laughed hella hard.
Idk why I always do that knowing it would happen. I got up to clean off my face.

"Oh, baby, Ma said she'll keep Blue for the night. So we can have it to ourselves." I smiled and walked over to him.

"Great, now you go get ready. I'll dress Blue and take her to ma's. Be ready when I get back."

"But you're not even dressed."

"I'm gonna stop somewhere and get dressed. You just be ready." He got up and kissed me. When I got up and walked to the room he slapped my ass.

"Oop. You better stop before You start something!"

"Oh, I'm gonna start something alright. I'ma finish it too!" I giggled.
"Bye!"

A few hours passed and I was almost ready. I had on a sexy LBD (Little Black Dress) that stopped at the mid-thigh. My hair was in flowing curls, and I had on a sexy pair of red pumps. I was touching up my make up when I heard the front door close. I finished my gloss and stood up in front of the body mirror. I was fixing my dress when Shawn walked in. His mouth dropped.

"It's too much isn't it?"

"No, No, you look beautiful." I blushed.

"You look very handsome yourself." He had on some slacks with a light pink shirt. He looked so good I wanted to just jump on him.

"You ready?"

"Yes, I grabbed my shaw and he lead me to the car. Julius opened the car doors and drove us to our destination. My mouth dropped when I saw the marquee.

"Cote d'Azue??? Aww this is where we had our --"

"First date. I know. I thought it would Be special if we had our first date here again, as a married couple" He flashed a smile while Julius let us out the car.

We walked into the restaurant and it was completely empty. Turns out, Shawn rented out the whole place. He can be so damn cute when he wants to be. We were seated in a booth and I sat right next to him. The waiter came and took our order.

"I'll have the lobster with lots of butter and a Cesar salad on the side."

"And for the lady?"

"I'll have the--"

"She'll have the Basian baked chicken with a small baked potato on the side" How the he'll did he know what I wanted?

"Ok, coming right up sir"
The waiter walked away and I looked at Shawn.

"How'd you know what I wanted?"

"What can I say? I know my wife"

I just smiled and stared at him. We got our food and we were just chatting away about Blue, our crazy family, what happened and somehow, we talked about our first time. I was getting a bit turned on so I reached under the table and rubbed his dick through his pants. He was moaning in my ear As I kissed his neck. I reached inside his pants and stroked him under the table.

"Baby, let's go home." I whispered in his ear while still stroking.

He jumped up, left $300 dollars on the table and pulled me to the car. In the car on the way home, we couldn't stay off of each other. The moment we got home, we hit the floor. Shawn was on top of me kissing my neck while I was pulling off his clothes. He lifted up the bottom of my dress and caressed my thighs.

"Mmm, baby. I need you" I said while breaking our kiss. He looked me in my eyes then kissed my lips softly. By now he had pulled off my dress and I was in my lingerie, as he was in his boxers. He kissed my neck moving down to my belly. Once he got to my pussy, I was breathless. He was doing laps around my clit and then my phone started to ring.
"Baby, don't stop." He kept eating. I answered the phone.

"Hello" Shawn did something with his tongue and I damn near screamed into the phone.
"Baby?"
"Yes Ma? I'm a little.. " I gasped "busy right now"
"Baby, It's Blue! She's breathing really hard and heavy" I grabbed Jay's head and stopped him.
"Blue? Is she Ok? Oh my God, tell me she's okay!"
"I don't know. I'm taking her to the hospital now. Meet us there."
Oh my -- we're on our way."

"What's wrong with Blue?"

"I don't know. Jay get dressed, we gotta get to the hospital!"

We got dressed As fast as we could and raced to the hospital. When we got there, I saw momma in the waiting room, crying.

"Ma, what happened? Where's Blue?"

"She's in the back. Idk what happened. She was fine when I fed her. Then she started wheezing and coughing. And she was breathing heavy and sweating."
"Oh my God, my baby."
I didn't know what to do, I just started crying. Jay held me close and I just cried in his chest. What else could possibly go wrong in my life????



To be continued


Thanks you guys for reading. Please leave comments. They help out more than you may think. Also tweet me (@leMagnifique_1) and tell me what you thought. Also excuse any typos. Please and thank you! :-*

-Kyra™
















SNEAK PREVIEW!!!

We were having a wonderful evening. In the car on the way home, we couldn't stay off of each other. The moment we got home, we hit the floor. Shawn was on top of me kissing my neck while I was pulling off his clothes. He lifted up the bottom of my dress and caressed my thighs.

"Mmm, baby. I need you" I said while breaking our kiss. He looked me in my eyes then kissed my lips softly. By now he had pulled off my dress and I was in my lingerie, as he was in his boxers. He kissed my neck moving down to my belly. Once he got to my pussy, I was breathless. He was doing laps around my clit and then my phone started to ring.
"Baby, don't stop." He kept eating. I answered the phone.

"Hello" Shawn did something with his tongue and I damn near screamed into the phone.
"Baby?"
"Yes Ma? I'm a little.. " I gasped "busy right now"
"Baby, It's Blue! She's breathing really hard and heavy" I grabbed Jay's head and stopped him.
"Blue? Is she Ok? Oh my God, tell me she's okay!"

















END OF PREVIEW!

Saturday, April 28, 2012

A Moment Of Peace

He tried to scoot up but he was obviously in pain so I helped him. He sighed.

He kinda struggled to speak.
"Remember when I left the house? And told you And Rih to stay home."
"Yeah"
"Well I was going to see what Chris did to her cause you know I'm not with that 'hit your woman' shit. I was on my way when I stopped at the store. Some nigga tried to rob me and steal the Maybach. You know I keep the A.K. on my hip so I pulled it up and held it to his head. Idk what happened but a man came from behind and shot me twice. No one was out and I was only a few blocks from the house so I struggled home and that's when I got to you."
My eyes were watering. I was mad, angry and sad.
"It's okay baby. You can stop. I can't believe this happened to you. Did you see any one of their faces?"

"Nah it was dark. I just saw it was two of them."
It was silent for a moment.
"I'm sorry."

"For what? This isn't your fault. You can't control this."

"I know but, I wish there was something I can do."

He tried to scoot up a little and he grabbed my hand.

"You're here with me and that's enough. Things like this you can't help but your trying and that's enough for me. Now gimme a kiss"

I kissed him and he leaned up and groaned. Aww I don't like to see my baby in pain.

"Are you okay baby?"

"*grunts* Yeah, I'm okay."
The doctor then walked in...

"Ahh, Mr. Carter. I see you're with us again. How are you feeling?"

"I'd be feeling much better if I wasn't laying in this bed."

"I understand, well, let me check your vitals and see how your doing."

The doctor checked and and wrote some stuff down.

"Well Mr. Carter, you're doing pretty good. Your vitals are good. Are you in a lot of pain?"

"Naw, not really."

"That's good. You can be out of here by tomorrow if you keep doing good like this."

I cut in.
"Um, doctor? How long would it take for him to heal?"

"Well in his case, not long. The bullets didn't break any bones and we got the bullets out in time. Seeing how well he's doing already, healing will take about 4 weeks and after he'll have to do about 4-6 weeks of physical therapy to fully recover."

That's not bad at all.

"Wow, I thought it would be worse."

"If you didn't get here when you did, it could have been much worse."

He looked at his paper then his pager.

"You be careful now Mr. Carter, I'll be back to check on you later."

"Okay Thanks a lot."

He said "it's my job" and walked out the door. You don't know how happy I am to know my baby is doing fine and can be home by tomorrow. I Walked back up to Shawn and tongued him down. When I pulled back, his face was like "O_o"

"Baby, what was that for?"

"Make-up from when I couldn't kiss you last night and this morning" I smiled and pulled out my phone to call my mom. She better not hang up on me.

"Ma! How's Blue?"
"Girl if you call me one more time. She is still asleep Beyonce. As she was when you called thirty minutes ago"

"Dang, sorry. I just wanna know how she's doing."

"I understand that. How's my son-in-law?"

"Why don't you ask yourself" I held the phone to Shawn's ear.

"Hey ma."

"Oh baby, thank God you're okay. I knew you would come around. You're a strong boy. How you feeling?"

"I'm in a little pain but the doctor said I can be outta here by tomorrow."

"So soon. That is so good. God is good"

"All the time. Yes he is" I laughed. My mom is FOREVER saying that.
Right with Michelle's ass.

"Is that Blue crying?"

"Blue's crying? What? Why?"

"Bey calm down. She said She just woke up."

"Oh, okay"

"Ma we're gonna call you back. Ok? Love you"

"I love you too baby"

He gave me back the phone and tried to get up.

"Baby, what are you doing?"

"I have to pee" He struggled to get up.

"Okay well let me help you" I grabbed his waist and his arm.

"You gone help me pee? You gone hold my dick for me?" He laughed.

"Mhmm, I'm gonna hold something else for you too if you don't cut it out." I giggled. "Now come on. Does it hurt to walk?"

"Nah, I'm just weak right now." I helped him to the restroom and had to hold his big ass up to pee. He was on hard and I was in shock. He was just damn near in a coma but now he's hard as bricks. Lemme find out he was having wet dreams while I was thinking he was in a coma. I laughed at the thought.

"What's so funny?"
I pointed down.
"How are you on hard Jay?"
I giggled some more.

"You know what? maybe it was that actress I was dreaming about."

I stopped laughing.

"Nigga don't play."

"I'm serious. What's her name? Uhhh, She played Deena Jones." He mocked my voice. "One of the Dreamettes!" I cracked up!

"Jay that was so gay!!" I couldn't stop laughing. It was so good seeing him still joke around even in his situation. He always know how to make a bad situation bright. I lied in the bed next to him and held him.

"I love you Giselle."
"I love you more Corey"
I looked up and kissed him.



(A Month And ½ later)
Everything is perfect. Jay is healing very well. And Blue is getting so big. And this little girl is hilarious.

"Bahbahbahlala"

"Daddy did What??"

"bahbahbahlalala"

"Auntie Solo too?!"

"Bahabahbahbah *screams*"

"Uh Uhn, I can't have them messing with my baby. Hold on, who taught you to scream on key?" She giggled.

"Mhmm you trying to be like mommy huh?" I laughed. She looked up and me and smiled really big.

"What are you smiling so hard for?" I Picked her up off the bed and held her up. I started speaking in baby talk.

"Whyshusmilinsohard? Huh?" She looked at me weird and scrunched her face up. Oh God, I know what that means. I sniffed and got a wiff of what good looking was really cooking.

"OMG Blue! Baby what have I been feeding you? Good lawd!" I picked her up and put her on the changing station. She hates this bed so much. She started crying.

"I know, I know, just onnnnne minute." I opened her diaper.
"Oh my Gawd, JAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!"
He came in fast. Then he sniffed the air.

"Oh my damn. Bey what the hell you been feeding her??"

"Whatever, Come here. Look!"

"Uh Uhn. If it looks as bad As it smells, hell no."

"But look. It's all up her back."

"Bey what the hell? Go clean it off."

I was in shock. It was literally all up her back. Like she was playing in it. Changing diapers was my thing but this is disgusting. I picked her up, took her clothes off and put her in the baby tub Kelly bought her. I didn't wanna use it cause it's too beautiful but Blue hates the other three. I bathed Blue while singing "the bathing song" then wrapped her up in the towel. When I put her on the bed and dried her off, I blew on her tummy. She cracks up when I do that. I blew again and she got to kicking. I stopped cause she was kicking the hell outta my chest. I just laughed, oiled her up and put her on a cute purple onesie that Ellen got her. It says "All the single babies"
This is too cute on her.

"Now mommy's baby is all clean. Yes she is!" She rubbed her eyes and yawned.

"Aww you're sleepy? I thought you were gonna stay up with mommy and daddy?"
She started crying. I guess not.

"Jaaay!"

"Baby why you always yelling?" He said coming into the room.

"Cause I never know where you are in this big house. Baby, can you go heat up a bottle for me?"

"I Gotchu"

He left and can back five minutes later.

"Jay, that bottle is not warm enough."

"How you gonna tell me? Yes it is"

I gave him a look.

"Let me see" I tested it. "Jay what did you do to this?"

He looked dumbfounded.
"What do you mean? I warmed it up."

"Is this from the Blue pitcher?"

"Yeah" He was lying.

"Really? So why is this not my breast milk?"
He looked like O_o

"Jay, baby, you can't rush with this. Blue needs breast milk. You don't want your babygirl sick, do you?"

"Of course not baby. I'm sorry. I'll be right back."

Lord, what am I gonna do with this man. I rocked Blue until Jay came with the bottle. He lied next to me while I fed and rocked ladybug to sleep. After I put her in her crib me and just cuddled and watched a few movies together. Finally, a moment of peace.



TO BE CONTINUED






Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Awakening

OH MY GOD!!


Thank GOD he's going to be okay. The doctor said he lost a lot of blood but they managed to stop it before it got worse. I just wanna know what happened. It all happened so fast. Too much is going on right now. We just got married and had a baby, then Chris and Rihanna... Wait, CHRIS!!! He probably did this. I will kill that little boy if I find out he's responsible for this shit!

"Can I see him?"

"You can but he still hasn't awaken from surgery but you can see him, follow me."

Me and Rihanna followed the doctor to room J-69. My heart dropped to my feet when I got to the door. I can't do this. I stopped in my tracks. I basically froze.

"C'mon Bey"

"I can't do this. I can't see him like this. I can't take it"

"Bey do this for Jay. You have to stay strong for him. Let your face be the first thing he sees when he opens his eyes."

She was right. I slowly walked into the room. I heard beeping and heavy breathing. My eyes watered. I looked up and saw a million tubes connected to Jay and I broke down. He looked so helpless. I walked to the bed and grabbed his hand.

"Jay, baby? *Sniff* How did I let you get yourself into this? Baby, do me a favor and wake up. I need you. Blue needs you. I can't see my life without you. Please baby." I started to cry harder.

"Please, open your eyes for me baby."

I squeezed his hand and kissed him. Rihanna walked up behind me and rubbed my back.

"It's gonna be okay, Bey"

"No It's not!! Look at him! He's basically laying here lifeless and you tell me everything is okay. It's not!!" I cried harder.

Rih hugged me and pulled up a chair next to the bed for me. We stayed in his room for hours. Six to be exact and Shawn still hadn't awakened. I had just woken up from the bright sun shining in my face. I looked around and saw Rihanna spread out on three chairs asleep. Shawn was still in the same position. I felt vibrations coming from my jacket pocket. It was my mom calling.

"Hello?"

"Baby, are you okay? What happened to Jay? What's going on?"

"Mom, calm down. I'm fine."

"What about Jay? Rihanna said he was bleeding everywhere and just dropped Blue off. What's going on?"

"Look Ma, I'm coming over there to shower and get Blue. I'll explain everything when I get there.Okay?"

"Okay baby, be careful. I love you"

"Okay ma, I love you too."

I woke Rih up and told her we were going to my mom's house. She said Ok and grabbed her bag. I walked up to Shawn and grabbed his hand.

"Baby, I'll be back later with Blue. It will be nice to see you awake when I get back. I love you." I kissed his forehead and we left.



(Mom's House)
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!"

I was breastfeeding Blue when I told Solo and my mom what happened.

"Shhh Ma, yes I'm serious. I just hope he is awake. The doctor said nothing about a coma."

"Well that's what it seems like. But Jay is a strong man. I think he'll be fine."

I looked down and caressed Blue's full head of hair. God, she looks so much like Jay.

"Wanna go see daddy? Huh?"

"You sure that's a good idea taking Blue?" Solo said getting up from the table.

"Why not?"

"Cause she's a newborn baby. Why don't you just pump some milk and leave her here? She doesn't need to be in the midst of that. What if something happens at the hospital?"

"Solange is right, I'll be damned if something happens to my grandbaby."

"Y'all are right. We she's sleep now, so I'm gonna pump a few bottles and head back to Jay. That's okay?"

"Of course, now gimme my niece." Solo picked Blue up and walked to the couch. I pumped about five bottles which would be more than enough until I got back. Rih was sitting on the couch with Solo rubbing Blue's head.

"Rih, you coming?"

"Nah, you go. I'll stay here and finish talking to Solo and Miss Tina."

"You sure?" I was kinda surprised Solo was talking to Rih. A few months ago, she didn't even know who Rihanna was.

"Yeah, I'm sure. You and Jay should be alone anyways."

"Okay. I'll be back In a little while. Love y'all."

"Love you too Bey."



(At The Hospital)

I've been here talking to Jay for about an hour now. He still hasn't woken up. I called and checked on Blue like every twenty minutes. My mom must have gotten mad cause she hung up on me the last time. Excuse me for wanting to see if my child was Ok. Another hour passed and I was getting tired. I started to get up when I felt him squeeze my hand.

"Jay?"

He groaned a little.

"Jay!! Oh my God!!" I hugged him super tight and then he groaned and moaned loudly. I guess I hurt him.

"Oh, I'm sorry I'm just so happy to have you awake." I kissed all over his face and hands.

"B..Bey?"

"Yes baby?!"

"How long have I been here?"

"Since last night. You been out of it babe."

"You been here the whole time?"

"Yes, minus about and hour and a half. I had to shower and feed Blue."
"She okay?"

"Yes, she's with momma, Solo And Rihanna."

"Oh, Okay"

"Now baby can you please tell me how you got in this situation?"
He tried to scoot up but he was obviously in pain so I helped him. He sighed.

















TO BE CONTINUED.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Gone?

I ran to him and he was gushing blood. He was red in the face and sweaty. I burst out in tears.

"Baby! Baby what happened?"
He groaned and moaned while I tried to help him to the bed. He was bleeding all over the place but I didn't care.

"Baby, answer me!"
I tried to sit him down but he passed out. He was so big that I fell and he was passed out on top of me.

"OH My God! RIHHHHH!!!! RIHANNA!!!"

I tried to get from under him but he was too heavy.

"Bey, What's-- OH MY GAWD, JAY!"
I was crying so hard.
"Rihanna call 9-1-1!! Jay baby please wake up. Babbyyy!"

Rih ran to call the cops. A few moments later, she ran in saying they were on their way. She helped Jay off of me then she went to get Blue. I sat over Jay crying hysterically.

"Oh my God. Baby wake up. Lord please let him be okay."

I held his hand and prayed that my husband would be okay. I heard sirens approaching and then a bang on the door. Rih ran to get it and the men from the ambulance stormed in. They tried to stop Jay's bleeding and they put him on a stretcher. When they did that, I broke down. I couldn't take seeing the love of my life that way. I don't know what happened, but I woke up inside the hospital. Rihanna was looking over me wiping my face.

"What... What happened? Where's Blue? OMG where's Jay?! Is he Ok?"

"Beyy, shhh calm down. It's not good for you. Blue is with your mom. I called her when you passed out. Jay is in O.R"

"O.R.?? What's wrong with him??"

She took a big sigh. I knew it was gonna be bad.

"Beey, Jay got shot in his chest, two times"
I started to cry.

"What????? Is he okay?? Please tell me he's okay?!"

"I really don't know. The doctor hasn't come out yet."

"Oh my God."

I cried some more while Rih hugged and held me. I couldn't stop crying. My breathing got heavier and heavier.

"Bey? Bey, are you okay? Say something!"

I couldn't, I just kept breathing heavier and crying. I couldn't catch my breath.

"Bey!! Nurseee!!!!!"

The nurse rushed in and immediately started working on me. I couldn't stop crying and I was turning red. She put this breathing machine in my face and turn it on. After about five minutes, I started to calm down. Soon enough, she took the mask off of my face while Rih rubbed my back.

"Ma'am, Do you feel better?"
"Yes"
"What was wrong with her?" Rih said looking kinda worried.

"Well, she was having an anxiety attack. It happens when you get nervous or in her case really stressed and her crying triggered it"
"But she's fine now right?"
"Yes as long as she's breathing properly and stop stressing, she'll be fine."

"Thank you"
"It's my job" With that she smiled and walked away.

Me and Rih waited about Two and a half hours until the doctor came out.

"Beyonce... Ehhh Carter?"
"Yes, Yes, That's Me. Is Everything Okay?"

"Well, your husband lost a lot of blood."
"But is he okay?"
He let out a sigh.

OH MY GOD






































TO BE CONTINUED

Monday, April 23, 2012

The Big Sister I Never Had


SHIT!!!! Why is he here? I specifically told him DO NOT come to my home. Why doesn't he listen? I'm gonna ignore it.

"Bey? Beyonce? I can hear you?" FUCK!

"Uhm, Yeah What's up?"

"Can you open the door?"

"BEY?! Who's at the door?"

"Wrong house baby." I yelled to Jay in the room.

Then I opened the door.
"Justin, what are you doing here?"

He looked me in my eyes.

"I needed to see you. I can't come in?"
"No you cannot. You know Jay will cut your head off and sew it to your lap now what do you want?"

"Damn. It's like that?"

"Like what? Justin you know that whatever We had going is over. I told you this. You can't keep popping up at my home. I have a child now. And a husband-"
"Husband? You really married that nigga?"
"Bye Justin"

I closed the door and went back to Jay. When I walked in Blue was laying on her back playing with her feet.

"Aww baby. You're so cute." I kissed her forehead. "Where's daddy? You know?"
Jay then walked up behind me and grabbed my waist.

"Daddy's right here." He kissed my neck. "You missed daddy huh?"
"Hmm No"

He laughed. "Yes you did. Who was at the door?"

"They had the wrong house baby."

"Oh Okay."

As soon I lied down next to ladybug, the doorbell rang again. Ugh Justin, what the fuck?!

"It's alright Bey, I'll get it this time."

"NO! Baby, me and Blue can get it" I smiled and he eyed me down.
"Mhmm okay"

I picked Blue up and walked to the door. I looked through the peephole and saw a lady covering her face.
"Who is it?"
"Reeonna!"
I opened the door. OMG!

"Rih, baby what happened to your face? JAYYY!" She started crying hysterically.

"It... it.."
"Say it! Chris did this?"

"Bey, Why you yelling?"

"Look at her face!"

"Beey, it.. it was my fault"

"Yo, Rihanna, who did this?"

"It was Crees"

"Aw hell no!" Jay went into the room to do God knows what. I gave Rihanna Blue while I made Rih an ice pack. I also got the first aid kit.

"Now Rih, what happened?"

She sat Blue up on her lap and wiped her tears.

"It's was all my fault. I shouldn't have assumed anything"

"Assumed what? Just tell me what happened and what possessed him to fu--.. to hit you!"

She took a huge sigh and began to speak.

"Okay, we were on our way to the Grammy's when he got a text. He was on his other phone so I didn't think it would be wrong for me to check it so I did. It was some girl texting him about coming over. I don't know what came over me but I just started going off and I slapped him. I shouldn't have done that."

She started to cry again.

"It's okay Rih, keep going" I rubbed her back to calm her down.

"He had this look in his eyes. Like he was possessed or something. Then he just started hitting me. I was fighting back but he's so strong. I don't even remember that much after. I just remember sitting in the ambulance. They asked me if I wanted to stay, I said no and came here. I had nowhere to go" She cried some more. Blue started to cry too. I grabbed Blue and started rocking her.

"Rih, you can stay here. But look at your lip. You might need stitches for that. I'll --"

Before I could finish, Jay came out, fully dressed and mad as hell, storming to the door.

"Jay! Where are you going?!"
He ignored me.

"SHAWN! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!"

"I have to go handle something! Y'all stay here."

"Handle what? Shawn, don't you go touch that little boy!"

"Don't worry about that!"
I raised my eyebrow and looked at him like 'Who you talking to?'

"Sorry babe. But I have to handle something."

"Don't do nothing stupid Shawn!"

"Im not Bey! But you and Rih stay put. I'll be back."

I looked at Rih, She was still crying.

"Promise me you won't touch him."

"Baby I promise."

He kissed me and Blue and he left. I walked back to Rih and comforted her. I had to call the ambulance so they can stitch up her lip. When they left, Rih and I just wanted to get our minds off what happened. So we watched a movie. It was "What's Love Got To Do With It"... maybe not the best movie.

"I don't wanna watch this anymore Bey."

"Okay, whatchu wanna do?" I said turning off the television.

"I wanna just... I don't know"

"You don't have any idea?" She looked around and spotted something.

"Is that American Idol Karaoke? Let's play that." Her eyes lit up.

"Uh Sure.." As I got up to get it, Blue bursts out in tears. Hehe, That's my girl.

"Aww Baby, what's the matter?"

I picked ladybug up from the swing while Rih just sat back and watched me. Ladybug continued to cry. So I started to sing...

"Love has truly been good to me. Not even one sad day or minute have I had since you've come my way. I hope you know I'd gladly go anywhere you'd take me. It's so amazing to be loved, I'd follow you to the moon and the sky above."

She stopped crying and was falling asleep. I just hummed the rest of the lyrics. Once she was asleep, I put her in her crib in my room. When I came back, Rih was sitting on the couch.

"Bey, I wish I had your life!"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, look at you. You have the perfect life. You have a wonderful and protective husband, and big beautiful home, a beautiful child. I'll never have that. You're beautiful, sweet, kind. You have it all. But look at me. No matter how hard I try, I'll never have that."

She was tearing up.

"Rih, listen, you are a very beautiful girl. Nothing is perfect. I can tell you now, my life isn't close to being perfect. Every relationship has their problems. And maybe that's the problem, Rih you're trying to hard. Don't go out searching for love. Let it just happen. Like this situation you're in now. Y'all were only together for a short time and y'all talking about marriage. Y'all were rushing. If you wait, I promise you'll find someone to love."

She smiled and hugged me.

"Thank you so much Bey. For everything! You're like the big sister I never had."

That was sweet. This girl isn't as bad as people make her seem.

"You're welcome. If you ever need anything, you have my number."

"I know, thanks." She smiled.

"Now I know you must be tired, all the medicine they gave you. You go get some rest. If you need anything, I'll be in my room, okay?"

"Ok, thanks again."

"You're welcome" I walked back to my room and called Jay. I got voicemail, twice. What the hell did he go do. I lied down in my bed and watched a few episodes of 'Jersey Shore until I fell asleep. I woke up to some noise coming from downstairs. Sounded like someone dropped something. The clock on my nightstand said it was 5:23am. The banging got louder and I got scared. I jumped up and got Blue out of her crib and got back in bed. a shuffling noise sounded like it was coming towards us. I grabbed the bat from under the bed and stayed still. I was terrified.

Next thing I know, a tall figure stood at the door. I could hardly breathe. It flicked on the lights and I damn near passed out. It was Jay.

"Oh my God, baby!!" I dropped the bat, put Blue down and ran over to him. He was gushing blood.

TO BE CONTINUED!!!!





Saturday, April 21, 2012

Saved By The Bell... Or Maybe Not




These first few weeks have been amazing. Jay has been the best husband anyone could ever think of. He wakes up to get Blue if she cries, she loves his daddy daughter talks. When he talks to her, her beautiful brown eyes light up. Sometimes when I look at her, I see nothing but Jay, but he says otherwise. Blue is now a month old and getting so big. She has super long legs so she's gonna be tall. Her hair is in Little adorable curls. I have this Chanel brush that I brush her hair with. She loves it. Everyone has been over to visit. They love her. Even my fans are treating her like family. Last week I uploaded a few pictures, and THEY. WENT. BIZZERK! It Was Hilarious! I Love My crazy ass stans. Today we're having family photos taken. I have the perfect outfit for Blue.

"Bey, what is that?"
"What?"
"What are you putting on my child?"


It was a cute floral dress. I don't see what was wrong with it. Mom made it just for this day.

"B, my child IS NOT wearing that! It's a Tad early for Halloween"
"What's wrong with it? Mom made it just for today. It's adorable if you ask me"
"Hmph, I didn't ask you" He picked Ladybug up off the bed and took the dress off.
"Why do I get the feeling you're shading my mother?" I said giggling.
"Eh? I've said nothing"
"Yes you did, you basically just said that the dress mom made is ugly"
"hey, you said it, not me!" He laughed.
"Whatever, so what is she gonna wear??"

He got up and went into Blue's closet. Her closet is damn near bigger than both of mine. He came out with a cute little pink and white dress.It was kind of plain if you ask me. Michelle bought it. Go figure. But ladybug looked adorable in it. I put her on pink Christian Louboutin flats to go with it. My baby was taking after mommy already.


"Now THAT'S My baby! Looking beautiful and such!"
"She was beautiful before" I hit his arm and laughed.
"Now We all match. I have my red, You have your white"
"Red plus white equals pink!!" I'm So damn corny. "Tell me you realize how lame that was?"
"Lmao shut up! You're always Killing a nigga joy"
"Nigga?" I laughed.
"Yes! Dadadadada Respect My GANGSTAH!" I don't know why but I cracked up At that. I'm so funny.
"You are so damn lame" He said laughing. Even Ladybug giggled.
"Aww baby, Don't take daddy's side" I took her from Shawn. "I thought you liked mommy's jokes.
You like them don't you?" She grabbed my lips, opened her mouth and kissed me. Well, she tried. She drooled ALL ON MY MOUTH.
"Ewww Blue!" I laughed and wiped my mouth. "I get it you love them." Jay laughed. Then the doorbell rang.

"That must be the photographer! You get it while I get cleaned up."
"Alright baby"

After I got cleaned up, I went down to where Jay was. The photographer had set up and everything and we were ready for pictures.

"Ok Ms. Knowles"
"Mrs. Carter" I said smiling..
"I'm sorry, Mrs. Carter, I want you and Blue alone first. Is that okay?"
"It's fine." I took Blue From Jay. "C'mon baby"

The photographer told me to stand in the middle of the screen and look down at Blue smiling. As soon he snapped a picture, Blue started crying. I tried to stop her but she was really cutting up. When Jay walked up, she stop.

"Looks like we won't be taking any pictures without Mr. Carter here"
I laughed. "I guess not. She's such a daddy's girl."

About an hour later, We were done with the photoshoot. We all were exhausted, Blue was out about thirty minutes earlier. Me and Shawn were in bed cuddling while Blue was in the crib across the room.

"Giselle?"
"Corey?"
"I love you"
"I love you too"
"I still can't believe we're finally a family. It's surreal"
"I know. I pinch myself everyday. I have the man of my dreams and a beautiful daughter, what more can a girl ask for?" I smiled and he kissed me.
"You wanna go on vacation?"
"Vacation? Jay we just had a baby!"
"Not like Vacation Vacation, But Like Go Somewhere and get away. Just me you and babygirl. I know you're tired of being in the house."
"Well that would be nice. Where though?"
"I don't know yet, --"

Before he could finish, The doorbell rang. I got up, went to the door and looked out the peephole. It was Justin.

"SHIT!!"

TO BE CONTINUED...


Saturday, April 14, 2012

Mr. And Mrs.



When I heard Anne yell Gwen's name, I just knew something crazy was going on. The fact that Gwen had my daughter made me get out of my bed as fast as I could. I walked to the door to see Gwen's fast ass rocking Blue, flirting with the male nurse.

"Gwen! What the hell are you doing?"
"What?" She tried to act lost. Tuh, please!
"Excuse me Misterrrr..." I looked at his name tag. "Nurse Ross. She is married, with kids. Ion think you would know what to do with her" I chuckled.
"Hmph, but I do know what to do with him. Haaaay, Nurse Ross" Angie laughed.
"Oop, excuse me, but give me my child, and you two can fight over Nurse here" I looked him up and down. He was kinda cute. "I'm late for my own ratchet hospital wedding, so goodbye" I took ladybug and walked back into the room. I got myself together to FINALLY get married. Sheesh. Everyone was back in place, Daddy had Blue, Gwen and Angie's fast asses were seated and we were ready to go.

"Are you ready to be wed?"
Jay looked at me, I looked at him -- "Yes"
"Then let us begin" He cleared his throat and began to speak.

"Dearly beloved, We are gathered here today in the spirit of God and these witnesses, to join together this man and this woman, in holy matrimony. If there is anyone here that can show just cause why these two may not be lawfully wed, let them speak now, or hereafter forever hold his peace."
I Looked at everyone and gave them all the death stare. With my eyes, I dared them to say anything. No one said anything. Mhmm they know better.

"These two have their own vows from the heart, is that correct?"
"Yes"
"Shawn, would you start us off?"
"Aw man, where do I begin?" He grabbed my hands and sighed.

"Beyoncé, from the moment I first saw you, I knew you were the one I wanted to share my life with. Your beauty, heart, mind, spirit and intelligence inspire me to be the best man I can be. I promise to love you for eternity, respecting you, honoring you, being faithful to you and sharing my life with you. I promise to love you without reservation, comfort you in times of distress, encourage you to achieve all of your goals now matter how over-dramatic it is." He chuckled. "To laugh with you, to cry with you and to grow with you in mind and spirit. I vow to be honest, caring, and truthful for as long as we both are alive. I know I'm sounding really corny" Everyone giggled. "We've been through so much these few years. People didn't think we'd make it: hell, even I thought it a few times, but baby we proved them wrong. I love you more than life itself and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you." He was looking in my eyes and a tear fell. I wiped his tear but I was crying myself. I was forgetting was I was gonna say. Oh my God, I can't stop crying.
"Beyoncé?" I wiped my tears and let out a big sigh.

"Shawn, baby. How can I top that?" I giggled. "Baby you are my heart, my soul, my rock, the love of my life. You are the air that I breathe and now the father of our beautiful child. You know any and everything about me. Probably more than I know myself. You know my deepest secrets that I would never tell. I trust you with my life, you're the protector of my heart. With kindness, unselfishness and trust, I will work by your side to create a wonderful life with you." My voice began to crack. "I, Beyoncé, promise to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health" I was breaking down "for as long as with both shall live. I love you Shawn"
"I Love You Too Beyoncé"

(I'm Sorry, Am I The Only One In Tears Right Now? Yes? I Figured... Continue)

"May I have the rings?" Kanye gave Jay a box and Solo gave me Jay's ring.

"I, Shawn Corey Carter, Take Thee, Beyoncé Giselle Knowles, to be my wedded wife" He placed a beautiful blue diamond on my finger. My mouth dropped. I wiped my tears and grabbed his hands.

And I, Beyoncé, take you Shawn Corey Carter, to be my wedded husband" I placed the ring on his finger and smiled.

"By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss your bride"

Jay looked at the family then he looked back at me. He raised his eyebrow, smiled, and grabbed me by my waist, pulling me in for the kiss. Everyone cheered while We kissed. It was so. Cute. I'm finally Mrs. Carter. I've married the man of my dreams. ♥♥♥♥

When we broke the kiss, I could not stop smiling. Everyone came and hugged us then daddy gave me Blue.

"Hey mama's baby. Guess what? We're officially a family now." I looked up and smiled at Shawn and he kissed me.

After about twenty minutes of hugging and sharing the love, me and Shawn we in the hospital bed being all lovey dovey.

"Okay, y'all cute and erthang, but where the food? I'm honegree!"
Oh lord, it was only a matter of time before RatchetTyrone came out.

"Well, I can't leave until tomorrow, y'all can Go out If y'all want."
"Yeah, I'll stay here with Mrs. Carter." I couldn't help but smile. I just loved the sound of that 'Mrs. CARTER' Ugh, It gives me goosebumbs!

"Y'all sure? We can order something if y'all want."
"Nah, y'all go. Me and Bee can make tonight our mini honeymoon since we can't have a real one for a while."
"Awe, You're right about that. Well okay, we'll be here to pick y'all up in the morning" Mama said hugging us.
"Yeah, just call me when you get discharged." Solo said hugging Jay.
"Okay"
"Bye, Blue!"
"Bye niecy pooh"
"Bye, pumpkin" Mama said rubbing Blue's head. Blue kinda smiled in her sleep. That was a first.

"Bye everybody"

Once everyone left, Jay grabbed a chair and sat next to the bed.

"Mrs. Carter?" I blushed.
"Yes Mr. Carter?"
"How you feel?"
"I feel happy, I feel overjoyed. I feel loved. I feel like the world is mine." I giggled. "What about you?"
"Indescribable! I've never felt so good in my life. I married my dream girl and I have a beautiful daughter. What more can I ask for?" He kissed my forehead.

This man is amazing.



TBC

SORRY FOR ERRORS BUT THANKS FOR READING! :-)


Friday, April 13, 2012

Forgiveness?

I was so confused. First off, why was he here? How did he get here? How did he even know I was here? Somehow all of that blacked out of my mind and I said four simple words...
"Get the fuck out!"

"Beyunsay, watch your mouth!"

"No! Why Is he here? Why are you here??"
I looked at momma and she looked down. By then, Gwen had Blue and had walked outside the room.

"I called him"

"You WHAT?" Solange jumped up seemingly more upset than I was.

"What? Wait,you called him? After he broke your heart? Ma, are you okay?"

"I'm perfectly fine. I've learned to forgive. Not for Mathew but for myself"

"But why is he HERE??"

"I invited him. I feel that if I can forgive him, so should you"

She actually had a point. I kinda saw this coming. But not here. Not like this. He had never done anything like this before. I didn't know what to say. For the first time ever, I had nothing to say. I looked at momma. She had tears in her eyes. I saw that she really wanted us to give him a chance. I then looked at Mathew. He was almost in tears. I did kinda miss him, after all he is still my daddy. We've been through entirely too much for me not miss him.

"Wait, Bey, before you speak, I just wanna say I'm sorry for everything. Sorry for hurting your mom like I did and sorry for breaking the promise I made to you and your sister."

I looked at Solo and she looked like she was about to blow something up. Luckily, Ye, Ty, Angie and Annie were calming her down.
"Look, I never meant to hurt you, your sister, or your mother, but I did and I regret it all. I was going through something and your mother knows now but that's not an excuse. I broke a really big promise to y'all and I can see I cut y'all deep. I promise to make it up to you. All three of you!"

By then I was in full blown tears. He walked up to me and looked me in my eyes. I could see that his words were sincere. I looked down at moma; she was crying. I looked at Solange and she looked at me. She had tears in her eyes but she was trying not to show it. That child can Never show her real emotion. Daddy grabbed my hands.

"I'm not asking for you to forgive me right away, I know it will take some time but at least give me a chance. I love you all way too much and I don't wanna lose Y'all. You're all I have, just let me Be here for the wedding and for my grandchildren. Maybe you guys will come around later. Please."

Oh My Gosh, He really means this. I couldn't hold back my tears anymore, they just began flowing. I couldn't just block him out of me and Blue's life... He's still my dad and he's still Blue's grandfather. I wiped my tears and hugged him extremely tight. Then momma came up and hugged us. Solange was crying hard in the corner of the room. She didn't wanna move.

"Solange? Baby girl? Are you gonna give me a chance?" He said walking up to her. She was crying her eyes out.

"Why should I?! Why?! You Promised me that you would NEVER hurt moma or us. You promised to love moma forever." She paused for a moment and wiped her eyes. "How could you?! After everything you and moma been through, How? Was She not good enough? Huh? Is she not attractive to you anymore? Were you just tired of her? Huh? Answer Me!"

"Baby, thats not the case at all. I love your mother with all my heart. I just... I just wasn't in my right state of mind. I regret everything. I just don't wanna lose any more than I've Already lost. Y'all are the only family I have right now, just please, give me a chance?"

Solo got up from the chair and hugged him. She said nothing. He knew she was giving him a chance.

"This Is sweet and cute and beautiful and all, but Uh, We kinda had something going soooo, Can we kinda speed this up?" Jay is so rude. I Giggled at him.

"Aw man, sorry to interrupt. Anything I can do?"

"Sit next to mama and don't interrupt again" I laughed. "Oh, somebody go get Gwen and ladybug!"

"Gotcha sis" Annie ran to go get Gwen. "OMG, Gwen!!!"




Tbc...
Sorry If This Is Boring. The Next One Gets So Much Better.
Thanks You Guys For Reading.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

What's Going On?

A few hours later, I was trying to get ready for this wedding. It felt nothing like a wedding though. I could hardly walk, I had a huge gut, my hair -- Ok my hair wasn't that bad. As a matter of fact, It looked like I just got it done.. hmm.... Anyways, apart from that, I looked a mess. Blue won't stop crying and eating. She is always hungry. A day old eating like a grown man, taking after Shawn's ass already.



"Baby!!"


"Nigga, WHY are you yelling?"


"Damn, my bad. Why you not dressed?"


"Do you not see me feeding?"


He gave me this 'WTF is your problem' look.


"Look I'm tired, pastor Evans isn't even here yet so relax!"


"You could still try. C'mon Bey, this is a big day for us"


"Jay, I just told you I'm tired. I'll be ready. You didn't just push a 7lb baby out of your dick now did you?"



Okay, that was a bit much, Why did I say that?



"Chh.. You know what? Bye Beyoncé , Call Me when youre done being a bitch."



He left and slammed the door behind him. When he did, Ladybug jumped and started crying. Tears filled my eyes as a rocked her. Why did I say that? Ugh my emotions are all over the place. Wait a minute...



WHOA!!!



Did he just call me a bitch? Chh... I deserved It. I was being a bitch. I rocked ladybug a little more until she fell asleep. When she did, I got up and tried to get dressed.  FUCK, My vagina HURTS!!!! Damn ladybug. I need help but everyone left to eat. I'ma call mom.



"Oww ma"


"yeah baby, you ok?"


"No I need your help. It hurts getting dressed. You still downstairs?"


"yeah, I'm on my way up"


"okay, thanks"



ten minutes later, she came and helped me. It wasn't the dress I was gonna wear but It was beautiful nonetheless. It was haltered and fitted.



HOE MY GAWD!!!



My boobs are Fucking huge! I looked down and bounced them around. My, My, My.... What's in here??? Cause it's not only milk the way ladybug eats. Geez, Ok, anyways once I got dressed, everyone was back. All except for Shawn.



"Hey, Annie?"


"Wassup sis?"


"You seen Jay?" She thought for a minute.


"Earlier, like an hour ago. Why?"


"he's not here. What was He doing?"


"on the phone, I don't know with who though"


"okay, thanks"



WHAT ZEE FUCK?? He was rushing me to get ready and his ass isn't here? Where the fuck is he? I asked around but no one saw him. I couldn't get up to go find him cause I'm in pain but damn, NO ONE SAW THEM LIPS???


Momma Gloria called him and he said he went to go pick up something. Good, cause I was about to snap.



An hour later, everyone was ready for this ratchet ass hospital wedding. Shawn walked in with an all black suit on, looking scrumpdittlyumptious!! Damn my baby can work Tf out of a suit. He walked up and kissed me. I totally ignored the fact that he was gone for almost 2 hours.



"You ready?"


"as I'll ever be" I smiled and passed ladybug to my Mom. Everyone was lined up like this was real wedding. It is kinda cute but still heavily ghetto. I was in bed the whole time, hell, my feet hurt. When the pastor started speaking, that's when it hit me. We're really doing this. My eyes started to burn and water.



"Dearly beloved, We are gathered here in the presence of these witnesses and God, to join together this man and this woman, in holy matrimony"



OMG I'm crying already!



"If there is anyone here that can show just cause why they may not lawfully be joined together, let them speak now, or else hereafter hold his peace"



"STOP!!"



My eyes got huge and ladybug cried. What is going on?!?!



TBC



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Friday, March 30, 2012

Blue Ivy && A Wedding

  I can't believe I actually did it. I gave birth to my first child less than 2 hours ago. It wasn't all that bad. I mean it wasn't good either but I thought it would be worse. Solo made it seem like she was gonna die. Her dramatic ass.
         I looked down at Blue and she was sound asleep. She looked so peaceful and she was so beautiful. I don't know who she looks like more, me or Shawn. I rubbed her little hand and she held on tight to my finger. I smiled and a tear fell. Then I thought about that horrible night. The miscarriage. That was the worst night of my life. After that I fell into a deep depression. Shawn was worse than me. He cried every night, he didn't eat nor did he work. He wanted a child so bad and I felt it was my fault I miscarried. Hell, he even blamed me. But in reality, it wasn't my fault. It was life. I had uterine abnormalities. In other words, my uterus was oddly shaped and was weak. Which meant, once I started to show, my cervix couldn't hold the baby any longer. Shawn and I thought we would never be able to have children after that. I still somehow thought it was my fault. My thoughts ended when I heard my name.
       "Bey!..... Beyoncé!" He called.
   "Oh, huh?"
       "You okay?" He asked while running his fingers through my hair.
    "Yeah, I'm fine"
"okay well moms and Annie just got here, you want me to bring em in?"
Momma Gloria and Annie were on their way here for the wedding when I went Into labor.
               "Of course!" I told him with a smile.
About five minutes later, momma Gloria came speed-walking In. I couldn't help but chuckle.
"Aww baby!" She cried as she hugged me.
                "Hey ma. She's asleep" I said smiling, moving a little of the blanket out of her face. Annie then walked up and held me so tight I could hardly breathe!
        "Annie! Girl okay!" I said laughing.
         "Sorry, but she is gorgeous. Thank you Bee!"
         "For what?"
"For putting up with Bighead over here long enough to give me my beautiful niece" she said as she nudge his head. It was kinda big.
             "Aye, you better watch it girl!" He demanded.
     "Well it was my pleasure" I giggled.
          We all sat and talked until visiting hours were over. Only about 2 hours I mind you. Everybody went their ways. I told momma Gloria and Annie to stay at the apartment. Jay stayed with me. He made me feel like I was hogging my Pooder the way he kept asking to hold her. 

I laughed and passed her to him while we talked. "How you feel? " "Extremely tried On the outside" "The inside?" I was tearing Up. "I'm... I'm so happy, I'm overjoyed. I can't explain it." He walked up and wiped my tears. "Me too baby" He kissed me and Blue's foreheads. "Although," I wiped my tears "I wish we could've still gotten a chance to get married tomorrow." He was playing with Blue's little fingers when He looked down at me. "We still can" "Huh? How ? I'm in a hospital bed" "it doesn't matter. I can call the pastor and have him do the ceremony here." I thought for a second. "Well it was gonna be a small wedding anyways." "C'mon baby, I don't wanna wait any longer. I'm ready to be an actual family. I want you to be my wife." I couldn't help but smile. "Okay, let's Do it." He smiled extra hard, jumped up and kinda screamed "yes" with my child in his arms. My eyes got uber big. "Jay! Shhh!" It was too late. Blue started to scream. It wasn't that loud, actually it was quiet, she sounded like a recording. It was so cute. "Damn, I'm sorry!" "It's okay, give her here." He put her in my arms and I rocked her. She simmered down a little when I held her hand. She was so beautiful. She fell asleep in my arms. Jay put her in the crib the hospital provided and we fell asleep. ******************** The next morning, I woke up to the sight of Jay sitting in the corner talking to Blue... I automatically knew what he was doing: Daddy Daughter Time. I thought that was just too cute. I just looked at them and smiled. I heard him say something like "Don't eat anything mommy cooks -- EVER" "Hey! I heard that!" He got up and walked over to me. He kissed my lips and then my forehead. "Hey Ma, when did you get up?" "A few minutes ago when I heard you coming for my cooking skills" "Skills?" I looked at him. "Aw babe, I'm kidding. You can throw down in the kitchen - If it's Hamburger Helper." He laughed hard and I gave him the deadliest stare known to man. He stopped laughing quick. "Anyways, when did she get up?" He passed her to me. "She hasn't been up that long. Ten, fifteen minutes maybe." "Oh okay," I looked down at her. "Hey baby. Hi." I played with her little fingers, then i rubbed her head. OOOH CHILE.. My baby has a head full of hair, and It is laid to THE GODS! "OH, Babe?" "Yeah?" "Pastor Evans said he could make it here by three" "what time is it now?" He looked at his watch. "Ten to eleven" I rocked Blue. "Did you tell the family everything?" I Bet he did. "Yep, they all said it would be nice. Ty, Angie, Gwen, and Kanye are on their way over now" Told you. "Okay, I cant wait" I smiled. Before I could say anything else, Blue burst Into tears. "Awe baby, what's the matter?" I cradled her in my arms and rocked her. "Are you hungry? Huh?" "Bey, she can't talk." I side eyed him then whipped out my boob. WHOA! When did it get this big?!? O_o I tried to get Blue to latch on but for some reason she was having trouble. "C'mon baby, you can do it." "What's wrong?" Shawn walked up to see what's wrong. "She won't latch on." I kept trying. She had her mouth open searching for my nipple so clear she was hungry. Finally, she latched on. "Wheww, there you go" I squeezed my eyes shut. Damn!! This shit hurts! "Babe, what's wrong?" "Nothing, This just really hurts." He rubbed my back. "Aw baby, you'll get used to it." ******************** 12㏘ "Bey what are you doing? Texting?" Gwen walked up and asked me. "No, I'm on Facebook." "Facebook?" "Yeah, I'm not as me though, they don't know they're talking to me." Does that make sense? She laughed "what? How?" "Come here, look!" I showed her my page on my Blackberry™. My name was Giselle Beyfam Jackson. Slick right? They'll never know it's me. "Giselle Jackson? You came up with that all by yourself?" She laughed. I didn't, "Yes, Yes I did! You have something better?" She stopped talking and went to sit down. "That's what I thought." I laughed. TBC,..................... This Was OD Boring But Okay :)

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

OH BABY!!

Bey: get off me! I gotta pee ugh!


Solo: piss ass


Bey: up yours piggy! *waddles to the bathroom*


(A few moments later)


Bey: SOLO! I THINK SHE'S COMING!!!!!


Solo ran into the bathroom über fast!


Solo: What? When? Now? Oh my God, She's coming? My niece Is coming!!!! We gotta get to the hospital. Wait, Bey stop panicking!!!


Bey: SOLANGE!!!! Shut up! No One is panicked but you! My water only broke! Calm down and go call mom, and Jay!  *Breathes in and out*


Solo:*calming down* you're right, Okay you stay here. Just Don't have that Baby on my bathroom floor


Bey: Shut Up And go!! *gets up and gets the bags her and Jay had ready. Gotta be prepared :)*


(15 minutes later)


Solo: Okay, Jay is on his way to the hospital.


Bey is lying on the couch squeezing a towel doing breathing exercises. She's having minor contractions.


Bey: *hee hee hoo* what about momma?  *hee hee hoo*


Solo: Her too, Come on, *helps her off the couch*


Bey:*still breathing hard* Ahhhhhhh, Oh My God!!!!  *squeezes Solo's hand* OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!!!! IT HURTS!!!!


Solo: Owwww Bey!!! I know, Come on.


Solo carefully helps Bey into the car. Solo was driving As fast As she Could when the contractions started to get worse. Bey got really cranky.


Bey: Ow ow ow!!!!!! Shit!!! Solo drive faster!!! Ahhhhhhhmmmmmmmh!!!


Solo: Bey. I can't! There is a accident. The road is blocked.


Bey: Ahh, What? *gets out the car*


Solo: Bey? Where you going? BEYONCE?!


Bey walked over to the officer who was patrolling the area Of the accident and tapped him on the shoulder.


Bey:  *holding her stomach* excuse me sir?  *breathing hard*


Officer:  *not looking At her* what is it?


Bey: uh, How long will the road Be blocked?


Officer: not until this accident clears *still not looking*


Bey:  *taps him Again*


Officer: look, I can't.......*He finally turned around*


Bey:*holds her stomach and raised her eyebrow*


Officer: Are you..... Beyonce?


Bey: Well what Do ya know? *whispers* I am


Officer: OH. MY. GOD! I LOVE YOU! I'VE BEEN YOUR STAN SINCE DESTINY'S CHILDREN!! GUUUUR CAN I HAVE AN AUTOGRAPH????


Bey:*feels another contraction coming* Thank you. I'll Do you on better, I'm in labor and if you can get me to the hospital ASAP, I'll give you VIP passes to my next concert. Just please *snatches him up* GET ME TO THE HOSPITAL NOW!!!


Officer: OH SHIT!  *takes her to the police car* We'll Be there in ten minutes.


Solo:*runs Up* Hey! What are you doing with my sister??


Bey: He's taking me there. Just follow him. Ahhhhh *moans loudly* SHITTT!!!


Solo does As told and the officer turns on his siren and speeds through traffic. They made it to the hospital in five minutes time. The nurse sent Bey straight to her room.


(An Hour Later: Beys Room)


Bey: AHHHHHHH!!!!! OH MY GOD, GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME!!! TAKE. IT. OUT.  TAKE IT OUT PLEASEEEEE!!!!! AHH!


Solo: Bey, Shhh. You're Only a few centimeters dilated, We have a while.


Bey:  *crying* It's like a basketball is coming out Of my pussy! This hurts So badddd!!!!!!!!


Solo: Julez was much worse.*giggles* Hold my hand.


Bey:*grabbing her hand* Mmmm Okay


Just then Jay and Miss Tina walk In.


Miss Tina: Aww my baby!  *misses her forehead*


Jay: Hey baby, How you doing?


Bey: *crying* Jay this hurts So bad, I don't know If I can Do this!


Jay: Baby, don't say that. You can Do this and I'll Be here every step of the way.  *Smiles and kisses her*


The doctor walks in.


Doc: How you doing Ms. Knowles?


Bey: This hurts So bad!!! What Do you think Jack???


Jay: Bey,.


Bey: Shut The Hell Up Jay!!!


Doc: Let me check you and if you're At least 5 centimeters dilated, I'll give you An epidural, would you like that?


Bey: yes Please!


He checked her and she was 6 centimeters dilated So doc gave her the epidural. She was still in pain for about ten minutes Until it kicked in.


(4Hours Later)


Jay:  *talking into the camera* She's Now been here six hours,  She's doing pretty good I must say.  *points the camera towards Bey* How you feeling ma?


Bey:  *half sleep, half woke and high a fuck* Im gooood, I just chdsrfcvhiiknkloi


Jay: You what?


Bey:*slurry* I said,  I can't wasrrtgffyvhjijbjiknnkknn


Jay:*laughs* Bey, that epidural got you gone! My baby high!


MT: Jay, get that camera out my baby's face and have a seat...


Jay: But....


Ty:*him, Angie, Gwen, Kelly, Michelle, And Kanye got there a couple hours ago* But nothing. Jay sit your happy ass down. You been recording since before We got here!


Jay: I don't wanna miss nothing.


Gwen: Nothing is happening!  *Laughs*


Angie: Hey, don't give my cuz too much. This is his first baby. He's happy.


Jay: Thank you...  chh


(3 Hours later: 8:45pm)


Everyone is sleeping. They've been there for about ten hours so everyone is a little exhausted. Suddenly, MT hears Bey moaning and groaning in her sleep. Bey then woke up crying and moaning.


Bey: Ma, Go get the doctor. Ahhhhh!!!!!


She goes to get the doctor.


Doc:*looks At her cooch* You're crowning. You're gonna have to push.


Nurse: I'm sorry, one person only can be here while she delivers.


Jay: That would Be me..


Nurse: Okay.*makes everyone leave while Jay goes to hold Bey's hand*


Doc: Okay Ms. Knowles, I'm gonna need you to push for the count of ten okay?


Bey: ahhmmmmm okay


Doc: Okay, 1,2,3 Push... *Bey pushes and the doctor counts to ten* That was good. Give me another strong push.  1,2,3


Bey:*pushes* Ajhhhhhhhhhhjbvcdthbbjkkbvddthb


Doctor: You're doing great, one more time.


Jay: Yea baby your doing good


Bey: *pushing* AHHHHH!!!! JAY FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!  *baby comes out and the doctor throws her (not literally) onto Bey's chest* Omg, Hi! *looking At her*


Baby:*cries*


Jay:  *crying recording everything*


Nurse: Do you have her Name?


Bey:  *Looks up At Jay and smiles* Yes, Blue Ivy Carter....


TBC

Okay, This Was Supposed To Be My Last Post But I Thought Long And Hard.. After Y'all Dragged Me And Cursed Me Out I Realized Y'all Like My Blog. I Can't Leave Y'all. :) I Love Y'all And Thank You So Much For Reading!


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